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Updates @,@

Jun. 7th, 2014 | 10:03 pm

So I guess I've got some updates...



My wrist and both elbows are pretty much up to speed and I was back to work by May 29th. Mickey was an awesome boyfriend through the ordeal. My Dad bought me groceries to last through the month while I was healing, and I relied on that as much as I could when applicable, but Mickey did help me out a lot. I tried my best to just remain busy and active and use my arms and wrist as much/as realistically as possible so they didn't get to weak or stiff, but now that I'm back to work, I can really feel the difference in strength.



I want to really try and start a gym regimen at work or school, but I'm rally timid to try and I wanna find someone to go with who'll either show me the ropes or is an inexperienced as I am, so I can pretend to take charge and learn. the idea of working out in front of a room full of people seems mortifying to me. When people are looking, they ARE looking to judge/check you out, don't tell me otherwise. I know.



Naturally we had more disagreements about moving in/not moving in and I had had it so I told him never to bring it up again unless he was 100% certain and actually wanted me to move in, and planned on actually asking me to do it instead of insinuating it and he agreed. Well, he did that, but now he wants me to move in like... when i get back from Boston >...>;;;



I'm in Boston! For free. A student at UB desparately needed a patient for an exam who's mouth and cavities were in a specific location/condition, and about a month ago she found me and asked me if I'd sit for the exam for her, so I agreed. The weird thing is that before I got injured, I was planning to maybe go on a trip to either Montreal or Boston, but then it just didn't pan out financially... since I was injured. And then I got to go anyways. Basically she just needed to do a filling or two in order to fulfill some requirements. The cavity she chose to use in my mouth was larger than she anticipated and a little to close for comfort to my tooth pulp, so it took her nine hours to do the filling with a silver amalgam. It was my last molar on the lower right side, just before the wisdom tooth. My jaw was in so much pain by the time we finished that I couldn't even manage to fit the muffin in my mouth from the free food they provided at the dental school (Tufts) I was so hungry but I couldn't physically manage to make my mouth do it for at least an hour once some advil kicked in.



Back to moving in - After he expressed hesitance so many times in the past about it (even though I never asked and he was always the one to bring it up) and I finally hit the wall and told him not to bring it up anymore, now I am the one who feels hesitant and afraid to do it, ironically. We spend most of the week together anyways and my rabbit and cat are basically in the care of my roommates and that's not cool. I usually only spend 1 - 3 days at home per week, so I'm paying rent at the wrong apartment. What makes me want to leave amherst street is the distance from everything i frequent and my roomies. they are cool don't get me wrong but eddie is kind of an alcoholic and can't find work and his unemployment is about to run out, and chris is really frustrating concerning money and having to track him down for it every month. I'm tired of being in charge of finances in every single living situation I've ever been in. I want someone else to be in charge of money for once. Or to share responsibility with.



The semester is over with and I got 2 As a B and a C. I'm registered for 4 classes already for next semester and I got an internship at the Bilingual Academy as a Teacher's Assistant, but I still havent recieved any details about it. Also starting the June, the Applications have opened for Suny New Paltz's Sevilla study abroad program. I am going to apply, I am going to get in, and I am going to go. Nothing is going to stand in my way of becoming fluent.



On the topic of Spanish, I no longer have a conversation group every tuesday to go to, so I need to find a way to use it more. I thought of starting my own group but I am really intimidated by that idea, because if I lead the group and people show up who are more fluent than I, I will feel a little silly. But someone needs to lead it. I'm also developing my goals on what I want for myself, what I want t do in Buffalo, and where I see myself in the future. It's all the in between work that I have to get through. It seems so endless and so limited at the same time. I realize everyone has their own unique pace in life, but I still feel "behind" but really, that's an illusion; an anxiety. I am afraid that if I really pursue this dream that it will take me away too much, and that scares me because I finally feel like I have a chance at planting true roots and developing a home and maybe a family, so the idea that I might have to compromise that or that it might fall apart because I follow a dream is deeply frightening and saddening to me. Someone who pursues linguistics or a specific language must have to travel a lot. I think my biggest obstacle here is trust and confidence. In the here and now, I don't often have problems with that, but if i get to fixated on the future, the fear really takes over.



I have so my many interests. I will become fluent in Spanish, I want to study linguistics, I want to become fluent in Korean, study there one day, be fluent/learn japanese, maybe mandarin, esperanto, and a lot of others. I want it here, I want to create it here, make some kind of a strong, progressive, thriving language center here because we don't have it, and I want it, and I don't want to settle anywhere else but here. I guess that's my dream. To found or move something like that here and have a living thriving center of linguistics/languages in Buffalo's core.



Oh, hey, back to earth..!



I've incurred a lot of medical expenses. A lot. like, really a lot. It'll be a month and a half before I'm finally caught up enough financially to start paying them off. There's nothing else I can really do about it.



It's possible I can still manage to get a second job for the summer.



I recommend to you try out Clean Bandit of Spotify, or watch the Rather Be music video on youtube... The new Röyksopp and Robyn collaboration EP is also really good.



check'em out:







The clean bandit video is super super cute.

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moving again

Aug. 28th, 2013 | 03:50 pm


those little things you keep...

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cute cookie

Aug. 10th, 2013 | 08:52 pm

it's so adorable! i hate working baby showers, but i love these cute cookies.

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I was in a play and it was awesome.

Jul. 28th, 2013 | 10:47 pm

So... Earlier today, was the second run of Shalter, an LGBTQ-themed play written and directed (and starred in) by Amy Upham. I started out yesterday very nervous and unsure how things would turn out. my adrenaline was high, and my joints trembled slightly. But the lights came on, and we walked out there on that stage and faced a crowd of people who were eager to be shown something special. The play dealt with a lot of important things facing our community; some things we all know about, and some things that have only recently began to see the light of conversation, addiction and abuse being the two biggies. And, of course it was filled with warm fuzzy moments of closeness: new love, deep friendship, and funny encounters. It was a full buffet of emotions and experiences!



I acted for the first time, along with some other theatre-virgins, and the experience was truly enriching, empowering, and inspiring. We worried a bit, but in the end we all pulled through like stars!



I can definitely say that I would act again. It was an exhilarating experience!

one thing i didn't like about it was having to shave. Bearded-hairy-legged characters from now on, only. haha! I felt naked, (well, i was half naked for a scene.) and unnatural.



It was great to have my family come out and support me. Some of my friends even came! What was also great was that plent of people we all knew and didn't know at all came, so it was a nice mixed crowd out there, filled with plenty of compliments for us after both shows.



It's been a a few hours since it ended, but it was good to just go home and rest afterwards. I was thoroughly drained from the experience.

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Paul & Terry's Wedding

Jul. 7th, 2013 | 06:04 pm

What a great night. I wish i got more pics of the ceremony but my phone was acting totally crazy, so i had to take the battery out until it was over...



I definitely got teary eyed during the stories and vows... it was really very sweet and a beautiful ceremony. Brian did a great job leading everything.



we all danced our butts off and it seems a good time was had by all. This was definitely the best wedding i've ever been to.



congratualations, (e:paul) and (e:terry). It was a night to remember and a union to be admired.



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these photos are from Rita.



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Alexandra Coyle art exhibition at gallery 464

Jul. 7th, 2013 | 06:00 pm

My coworker allie had an art show recently, and it was great! the artist shwing downstairs was pretty interesting too. The food selection was awesome. I found out while I as there that 464 has their own magazine called spark... i looked through it and it was great. I can't wait to go back and buy it.



Allie's family was there, or at least part of it, i think? They were great! lots of work people showed up, but i missed a lot of them since i got their early and left early. Rita, Michael and I hung out at her place for a few hours before heading home... It was a great night.



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July 4 2013

Jul. 7th, 2013 | 05:58 pm

I actually ended up doing a lot that day... I went to a family BBQ (at which i took no photos!) went to a rooftop party at the Westbrook apartments in buffalo... that's what these photos are from. The view atop the city was crazy! It was so beautiful. The only thing that was a problem was that because of the smoke from the fireworks, you couldn't see them that much from where we were. i tried to take video of the finales across the city, but it was pointless really.



After that I went home for a short bit and sat around... Then the urge to dance came over me. it was really almost an emergency. So despite not being able to find a single dance partner i went out anyways and danced my head off.



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Bachelor Party

Jul. 7th, 2013 | 05:42 pm

I can't believe i got no pictures until Rita and I were leaving.



I had a great time. I drove up with Rita and we had a lot of fun together... I don't really have much camping equipment but luckily I was covered and had a tent to stay in. I can't believe how muddy and rainy it was! We made the best of it anyways.



Thanks to everyone who pulled together and made it a fun time. It was a great time, well spent with wonderful people, and I got the chance to meet even more wonderful people that i will hopefully see again in the future.



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pre-july 4th stuff

Jul. 7th, 2013 | 05:33 pm

had some beautiful days and moved plants around the house.... moved some outside onto the porch and played with the bunny.



been kind of reeavaluating my ife and what i want and kind of coming up short of answers. I'm not sure what i'll pursue with lanuages but it's what i'm good at. I want to write more.



been procrastinating on the letter to brandy, but i'll try to just sit down with it and write it up so i can finally post more about my trip.



I've had such a pathetic lack of money. it's been a little scary at times, when i look in the fridge and there's nothing in it, but i manage to eat. having worked just one day this week because of having off is freaking me out about rent and bils. shut off notices...



i'll pull through and figure it out. I always do. :)



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DBGB's for a show

Jul. 1st, 2013 | 04:01 am



went to see Tanya's bf, James Dean, open with his band Armageddon Party, for Early Attic, local band having a CD release party. we missed Armageddon Party, but Early Attic was great. lose/win, i guess ...



Tanya and i went back to her place and talked over beers until the sun was coming up. I missed her...



i miss a lot.



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